Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Spatial Relationships

In this household, it seems that if we buy certain goods, the whole place must be rearranged. A few years ago, we went to IKEA for the first time (an adventure story in and of itself -- I'll save that one for another post) to buy a $20 television cart. I won't say how many weeks and how many dollars later --- but you can be sure it was more than a hundred times the cost of the cart -- we had pulled up the carpeting in five rooms, refinished hardwood floors, consolidated most of our library on new shelves, replaced a couch that had been unaffectionately referred to as "Butt Killer," changed window coverings, and painted a bunch of walls.

I'm not kidding -- this all began with a cheap TV cart. I felt bad until I talked to a man who said that his wife's purchase of a set of towels resulted in redoing a bathroom.

This time, it was a result of the purchase of the recently mentioned new MacBook. I wanted an Internet-free writing space. No offense intended.

We had a hot day here in So Cal, but I got an early start. Cappy, who also happened to deal the death blow to my Powerbook by hooking the cord with his tail and pulling it off a table (you see why I like this new feature?) woke up at about 5:15 this morning and decided I should walk with him to the dog biscuit jar. I didn't know that was our destination when I agreed to get out of bed. Britches, usually willing to put on a canine folk dance exhibit for a cookie, didn't stir for this expedition. Cappy fell back to sleep before I did, so I spent most of the day rearranging the furniture in two rooms in our house, allowing one to be mostly a writing and guest room, and to change my office around to house another computer, the one I use for Internet stuff.

This may make it sound as if I just had two things to move: a computer, and a futon on a frame. Oh no.

But I'm proud that it was just one day's work -- the floors aren't refinished, nothing is getting painted, and I've bought no new furniture.

I did learn that I have no sense of spatial relationships. I can solve a crossword or assemble a jigsaw puzzle, but I was lousy at those little tests they gave us in school where you had to make a rectangle out of pieces that seemed to belong to a triangle. Or a work of abstract art.

I can hear the sound of rolling eyes, so let me say right now that I measured. I did!

I just didn't measure enough dimensions or allow for every condition.

So, if you happen to be in my guest room, and have put on your jammies, before you open the futon out into a bed, be aware that you aren't going to be able to get to the bottom rows of one of the bookshelves, sit at the desk, or the open the closet, and may not be able to open the bathroom door, either.

I'd go to IKEA and try to buy a chamberpot for you, but I don't have time to remodel the house, so I'm not shopping there any time soon.


Sandra Ruttan said...

Kevin always laughs at me, because one thing - like a wall calendar - will force the restructuring of my entire office...

Tami said...

Ahh, Ikea, gotta love it! I always have the problem of going there for candles or something small and walking about with a large piece of furntire i DON'T need just because it's really cheap. Then of course I make my boyfriend put it together. while I "help."

Jan Burke said...

I understand this perfectly, Sandra!

Jan Burke said...

If your boyfriend can put that stuff together, Tami, he's ahead of Tim and me. At some point in any "some assembly required" project, we look at each other and say, "Oh, no...that can't be right!" and some part of it must be taken apart and reassembled. This allows time for some small but crucial thingamajiggy to roll under a couch...